Movies and Anti-Canadianism/Quebecism

a)

So, just recently saw Wolverine, which I thought was semi-crappy (and I’m an X-men fan and a wannabe-comic book nerd). Then I checked out what Roger Ebert (the dude who used to be real enormous, now is more average in bigness) said. He hated it.

What’s interesting about that to me is that five years ago, Stephen King grouped Ebert in with a whole lot of critics who were giving good reviews of everything. He said “Even Roger Ebert, that fierce partisan of the movies, all too often seems to have one thumb up and one thumb up his...aw, never mind.” Diss…

Now it’s five years later, has anything changed? Does Ebert actually give good reviews to big blockbuster movies? What say ye, Ebert?

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian:

“Its premise is lame, its plot relentlessly predictable, its characters with personalities that would distinguish picture books, its cost incalculable (well, $150,000,000).”

Terminator Salvation:

“It gives you all the pleasure of a video game without the bother of having to play it.”

Star Trek

“Like so many franchises, it’s more concerned with repeating a successful formula than going boldly where no “Star Trek” has gone before.”

Fast and Furious

“This is an expertly made action film, by which I mean the special effects are good and the acting is extremely basic. The screenplay rotates these nouns through various assortments of dialogue: Race. Driver(s). Nitro. Meth. Sister. FBI. Border. Dead. Mexico. Murder. Prison. Traffic violations. Tunnel. Muscle car. Import. Plymouth. Funeral. Helicopter(s). Toretto. Ten seconds. Corona. Cocaine.”

Monsters vs. Aliens

“I didn't find the movie rich with humor, unless frenetic action is funny. Maybe kids have learned to think so. Too bad for them. Think of the depth of "Pinocchio." Kids in those days were treated with respect for their intelligence.”

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

“But wait! -- you say. Doesn't "X-Men Origins" at least provide a learning experience for Logan about the origins of Wolverine? Hollow laugh. Because we know that the modern Wolverine has a form of amnesia, it cannot be a spoiler for me to reveal that at the end of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," he forgets everything that has happened in the film. Lucky man.”

There were more, but you get the picture. I don’t follow movies or watch a lot of them, but it makes you wonder: has Ebert gotten meaner, or have the movies gotten worse?

b)

So, to continue my thoughts on foreigners, here is the most offensive comment I’ve heard about Canadians (in my opinion):

British Lady: Oh, you are from Canada? I lived in Montreal for a few years teaching there.

Me: Oh, cool. Did you learn a lot of French there?

BL: Heavens, no. I wouldn’t want that horrid accent. Their French is terrible. They don’t know how to speak French or English.

Me: [Smiles]

Well, I forgive her. She was kinda old.

Though this comes in a close second:

Me: So, professor, you've met DA Carson, right? By the way, he's Canadian..

My American Professor, who will remain unnamed: Yeah, he's one of those good Canadians, the kind that live in America.

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