A Goal Worth Living For

So, I’m 21. If I was English (as in from England), I could now adopt a child, get a flight navigator’s license, a flight engineer’s license or an airline transport pilot’s license to fly an aeroplane, helicopter or gyroplane, or I could become a Member of Parliament, a local councilor or a local mayor (http://www.rbkc.gov.uk/kccrights/at_what_age/age_21.asp).

However, lately I’ve kinda felt like a mess. Quiet times, responsibilities, diet (as in nutrition, not weight-loss), fitness, my bedroom, schoolwork, everything’s been a little unorganized. Makes me wonder if I’m getting any older at all. I usually feel older than I really am. But lately I’ve been made aware of how much further I’ve got to go in terms of knowledge, experience, love, faith, and in personal maturity.

Last week, a guy from Cru brought a friend out to the weekly meeting. This brother was, well, a brother, a fellow believer, but at age 5 had been hit by a car, leaving his perception of space and his speech significantly limited. Though bilingual (anglais and french), this brother’s speech was hard to make out as well as much slower. At the end of the meeting, he thanked one of our leaders for taking the time to talk with him, saying that other than the two of us, he hadn’t talked to anyone else, because it was difficult to communicate. We started trying to introduce him to others, and got to hear a little more of his life as a result.

I left campus with mixed emotions. I was thankful to God for allowing me to see that there are others who have life so much more difficult than I do, and yet are still able to say “Blessed be the Name of the Lord”, and thankful that it is only by His Grace that my capacities for speech and sight are in relatively good order. And yet, I wondered too whether I was really mature enough to pursue a friendship with someone like him. Would I have the patience? Would I have the love? Or would I leave that night feeling a little better about myself that I had taken twelve minutes out of the night, and then never really know what its like to really know someone like him.

In general, I am a pretty selfish guy. My flesh craves being in situations that are immediately helpful to me, immediately comfortable to me, and immediately advancing my own self-promotion. Helping the homeless, befriending those with special needs, going to the nations, these are not yet second nature to me.

Thank God I’m twenty one. It is a cold hard fact that this may be my last year on earth, but if God chooses to keep me here longer, I know he can conform me more into His Son’s image, so that I can reflect that image and love into the lives of others.

This year, to be more like Jesus would be a goal worth living for, and dying for.

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it

I’m so bad at updating this.. and now it will take so long for people to comment, which gives me even less desire to post again. Oh well, here goes.

Two years ago, I did a summer internship with my Church. Youth ministry. I have since concluded it’s not really what I’m gifted in. That summer, I thought a lot about perseverance, haha.

But actually, that summer I thought a lot about perseverance. I was getting pretty tired. Prayer, evangelism, teaching, reading, loving, not getting the results you want, not getting the kind of rewards you want. These things can wear you down.

"fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith" (1 Tim 1:18-19).

I’m almost 21 years old now. If I live the average life span of a Canadian male, I’ve got 51 years left. Will I still wanna fight in 51 years? I don’t know if I’ll still have the desire to fight in twenty.

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling.." (Jude 1:24)

Can He really? I don’t know how many of you follow the things that go on in Evangelicalism, but recently Pastor Ted Haggard (a third-wave Charismatic, very influential according to Time Magazine) admitted to sexual immorality, specifically an affair with a homosexual.

Thankfully, he has been dismissed from his church and from the National Association of Evangelicals, which he was the president of, and is now being more honest about his situation. However, he has really really disqualified himself from future service as a pastor.

I have heard stories like this before, including recently hearing that a megachurch in Texas also had their senior pastor resign because of an extra-marital affair. How do these things happen? What happened to keeping people from stumbling?

I don’t really struggle with doing meth and/or gay sex. In fact, maybe this is a little presumptuous, but I feel almost guaranteed that that will never happen to me. But, I know there is one possible sin or two or twelve that could sideline me from ministry real quick.

That summer I committed to running the race well. Pacing myself, putting first things first. But every now and then, especially when things are hard, or when I'm made more aware of my sinful nature, I wonder if the fall is inevitable. Where do you go when you don’t know if you can make it?

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ". – Philippians 1:6