Myths of Manhood #3 - It doesn't matter what they think of you.

It's funny - back in high school I bore an elephant-sized burden that plagued me everyday - I really wanted people to like me: Do they think I'm funny? Do they think I'm a jerk? Do they think I'm a loser? Clothes, music, friends - once things that were sooo important - High school is HARD TIMES.

Back then, I wondered if I'd look back and think high school was the best time of my life - Thank God it wasn't.

Anyways - I'm now in University - and Jesus has come and lifted this burden off of me. Not that I'm completely free from insecurities, but my life has been injected with a buttload of relief. What everyone used to say is a reality- Image isn't everything!

But reputation isn't nothing (or, it is something). The Bible says it matters what people think about you! Jesus says ""Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16). In other words, people need to see me be a Christian. One of the qualifications for an elder is that they "have a good reputation with those outside the church" (1 Tim 3:7) So, it really matters what people think of you. Man! What a problem! I actually need to work at gaining the trust and respect of others.

Today, I'm involved with a Christian club on Campus. And I am a "leader" - i have a three-letter-acronym title and everything. I often wonder: do people think I'm a phoney?

Well, it would be easy to say - "Do as I say not as I do" or "Only God can judge me"- but then I'd be full of crap. The world is full to the brim with leaders like that - we need some that are willing to say "I am willing to be put to a higher standard! I might (and will) fail, but by faith in God's Grace - I wanna be a man worth following!"

Well - this year I expect people will think I'm full of crap - or I'm irresponsible - or I'm unintelligent, or I'm a phoney - but for their sake, and God's glory, I must try harder, love harder, and serve harder - I must lead. Hard decisions and failures are bound to come, but how I wish people would see Christ in me!

Myths of Manhood #2 – To be a man is to fulfil a girl’s every desire.

"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus." – Blaise Pascal

"Tell me what I gotta do to please you Baby anything you say I'll do Cause I only wanna make you happy From the bottom of my heart, it's true" – from the lady-killin’ track, "I Wanna Know" from the "hits machine" that is (was?) Joe. (I admit, I like the song)

Back in grade 11, I had a girlfriend. And I really liked her. We were best friends, and I really cared about all the things that were going on in her life – friendship problems (you know high school girls..), mom problems, dad problems, body-image problems, etc., etc. She wasn’t like, uber-screwed up or anything, its just the teenage condition: life is drama. Anyways, I really wanted to be there for her, and solve all those things.

When we broke up (it was far from a conflict-free relationship), I felt really really crappy. And looking back, the sense of loss was more a feeling of failure. I felt that I had failed as a man. My conception of love (as clearly stated by Joe in the above excerpt) was that I was gonna be her everything, and her mine. Emotionally, physically, spiritually(I guess?). However, that is a pile of crap.

Fortunately, since then I’ve discovered what went wrong. Jesus is to be that fulfillment. Jesus, talking to a girl with tonnes of guy problems, told her "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again (Adam’s note – the water refers to the well they were standing next to, but I think if you look at the context, He’s talking about all the guys she’s been with); 14but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst" (John 4:13-14). So, those longings we have, whether it be for bgr (boy-girl relationships), a good job, purpose, adventure, etc., they will never be REALLY fulfilled until we have the living water. This means the intimate relationship we have with Jesus when He comes in and lives in us (John 7:37-39)

The big lesson I’ve learned from that relationship is that the most loving thing to do for anyone is to draw them closer to Jesus. It is Jesus who satisfies, not a perfect body, or perfect parents, or a semi-mediocre boyfriend. Man, I wish I knew this. I wish I could pin my spiritual eyelids wide open each day to remind me that God is the thing I really need. Every thirst and longing and ache points to my need for Jesus.

This is good news. The question, "Can I ever be someone’s dream guy?" (answer: no) is replaced with "Can I love God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength?" Since I’ve got Jesus Christ living in me, I have faith that He’ll produce the love I need.

That is all.

Note to other men: "what about the girl who IS looking for that dream guy (tall, hairy, good at mario kart, nice pickup truck, sporting a mullet, whatever the women are into these days)?" My humble advice: Pray for her and move on. A Godly man (what we aspire to, not what we claim to be) desires a woman whose dreams are of following Jesus, not (insert male celebrity here. I clearly do not know popular culture. I should read the entertainment section more. Or the newspaper in general).

Myths of Manhood #1 - To be a man is to keep your mouth shut

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. - James 5:16

Well, thanks to M3 for... manlyifying this blog...

So, I've been reading through Daniel. In chapter 2, Daniel has the impossible task of interpreting the King's dream AND first knowing what exactly the dream was without the King telling him. The first thing Daniel does when he gets home from finding this out: he tells his friends and they Pray for him that God would reveal the mystery.

Something I've definitely been guilty of in the past is keeping my mouth shut during Prayer times. I've been learning that I should be sharing my struggles and asking others to pray for me. It really grinds my gears when Prayer requests are being shared, and someone says, "aww, you don’t need to pray for me, my problems aren’t that important" or "I don’t want to be selfish". God is shown to be really really great when we ask others to Pray for us, because 1) we are obeying Him (James 5:16) and 2) we are showing that we are completely dependent on Him.

TV and movies have tricked us into thinking that it is more masculine or better to be independent than to admit that we need other people. God has designed us to be interdependent – as His Children we need to share the hard times and share the good times with our brothers and sisters.

So reject our culture’s view of manhood! Share your struggles, your feelings, the things you think you can just work on by yourself!

Just so that I’m "practicing what I preach", I’d like to ask that you pray for me about these two difficult things:

1) Pray that I’d trust God for next year, as I’m going to be leaving school with a tonne of debt, and need to trust Him that He’s gonna provide all my needs according to His riches and Glory in Christ Jesus. Its really a big barrier in terms of thinking where I’m gonna go next year (whether it be ministry or seminary, both are not very conducive to paying off my student loans, haha)

2) Pray that I’d have wisdom and grace as I’m leading Campus for Christ at Carleton. I wanna be a man who is known for being compassionate and for being a good listener. Dealing with people (who have feelings and stuff) is a lot harder than reading Renaissance literature (which I do for school), so please ask God to be refining me into that kind of a man.

That is all. And please, let me know if you need prayer.
Ps. This is not part of a series of entries on myths of manhood.

A Note from Adam's Personal Blog Designer

Dear Faithful readers of Adam's blog:

I am pleased to inform you that you no longer have to set your eyes on that spotted horror of a template any longer. As a concerned reader, I have taken it upon myself to improve the settings of this blog. Everything added (links, profile, colour, etc.) was selected to best suit Adam's personality.

Actually, I just thought the bear (From the big blue house... GREAT kid's show) really went well with the brown theme. It seemed more warm and inviting. Kind of like hot chocolate. And I chose the links to go with the theme of "manhood". heheheheeee I even found a verse off Bible Gateway.

Please take time to explore, and I hope that you all thoroughly enjoy the beautiful display of manhood and brown-ness.

Sincerely,

Monica

Not just step one in the baby-making process

It's been a really really busy week surprisingly, despite no school and not much Church stuff. Was helping out with International Students frosh, that was fun.

Is it too late to give my thoughts on the wedding last weekend? I hope not. (sorry, I really desire to not be long, but this one is).

Umm, most of you who read this know who and what I'm talking about, but if not, here's my summary of what happened up till last weekend:

God made Sangi and Christina (and appointed them to be born in the reverse of that order).
God made marriage, which is when a guy and a girl get together and become so intimately connected, the Bible says they become "one".
Sangi and Christina wanted to do that, cause they believed God made them in such a way that if God made them one, they could do the best thing EVER - Love God and Love others together.
So, last weekend they threw a big party to let other people know that they were doing just that, and thanked God and asked Him to join them and keep them together in a way that it shows others how God wants us, His Bride, to be forever close with Him.
We had fun. Some people cried. I didn't (but did experience the emotion, part of me hoping I wouldn't have to go to a lot of these kinda things, and have to be all emotional everytime)
End of summary

By the end of the ceremony though, I was really moved by the sheer joy on both of their faces. It was a really, really, happy time. I felt I shared in their happiness.

Should I go to these kinda things all the time? Well, God's book says that He designed the idea of marriage so that His relationship with His bride (the Church - everyone everywhere who has faith in Christ) (Ephesians 5:31-32).

God says He delights in His people (Isaiah 62:4), so it just makes sense that a dude about to become "one" with his fiance should be ecstatic! And you could definitely see that, Sangi had the kind of smile that's probably pretty rare in the type of Baptist Church they were married in (diss... that was a joke about Baptists being real serious. Not that they are less joyful, just probably don't show it as much on their faces on Sunday morning haha. Hope no offense was taken by others).

What a great thought of our God. He's not some demanding husband, but everyday His heart is like a man's on his wedding day - full of delight in His bride, and a heart set to pursue that relationship with all His might!

When Jesus was talking about marriage, He said, "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." (Matthew 19:6). This isn't just great because of what it means for God's commitment to marriages sticking together, but it also means He will NEVER leave His bride.

God is 100% committed to pursuing us, loving us, and seeking our highest happiness in Himself in the good times and the bad. He promises us this every day in His Word, and He never breaks His word. This is why I think marriage is so important - because it is a relationship that awaits everybody who believes in Jesus. They can be in an intimate relationship with a person who will never leave them. A person who will love and cherish them, and in this case, not even death can tear us apart!

So, in conclusion, this was the second wedding I've ever been to, but it was a good one. It really showed what we need to see - a lover whose face and words say "I want to be ONE with you, and by the Grace of God, nothing but death will tear us apart!" This is only a whisper of the heart of God.

ps. I feel this indirectly answers Monica's question which you can read here: http://mashimaromonica.blogspot.com/2006/08/together-foreverfor-50-60-years-my.html. Although God is clear He wants kids to come from married couples, the Bible is just as clear about the purpose of marriage. BGR's (boy-girl relationships, haha) in marriage reflect the relationship between Jesus and His Bride. You don't need kids to do this. Its not just step 1 in the baby-making process.